And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
