I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
