I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
