i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
