Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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