i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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