stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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