I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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