I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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