I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Shame - the story of my life.
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