Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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