We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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