sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
