I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I need to sanitize my soul.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
