WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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