Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
