My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
