check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
