I am in a vortex of obligation.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
