Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
