I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
So many bounce houses so little time
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
