So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
