someone get that fucking seahorse.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
