Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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