Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
