Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize