I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
