I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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