i think my mom watched the whole time
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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