I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Send help, water and tortillas.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
