to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
