2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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