How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
