For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
