a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
