im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
