so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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