I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
