You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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