Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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