she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize
