I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
