he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
