It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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