It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
