so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
