final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
