pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
