Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
