thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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