why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
