He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
