i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
We need to rekindle our bromance
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Im part way to drunk.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
