Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
