Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
