Small penises have feelings too.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
