Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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