She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
