Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
