he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
