Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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