i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
